Banana Pancakes

Lately, I've been trying to reduce my calorie intake while still staying satiated.  A lot of overnight oats, low-carb high-protein muffins, and eggs.  I prefer the eating style of many small meals/snacks throughout the day (What? I like variety!) rather than 3 big meals--it helps me keep things in check and satisfy my desire for many tastes.  But this leads to not being able to partake in some of my favorite breakfast indulgences (I would kill for a full English brekkie one of these days).

Sometimes, though, you just want something.

It's been months since I've had pancakes.  I just..haven't let myself make them, which I guess is a good thing, because for a while there I was just baking up a storm constantly.  Pancakes would have just added to the torrential carb downpour :P.

Those of you in the paleo/gluten free/low carb world know the pain of flat, sad pancakes that barely hold together on the pan, let alone once they're on the plate and covered in your choice of syrup, fruit, nut butter, or what-have-you.  Not only am I tired of eating those kinds of pancakes, but I'm tired of serving them to my disappointed friends and family.  I feel like it's an insult to the glory that is delicious stacks of pan-baked comforting goodness that pancakes should be.

I delved into my new-found baking knowledge and decided to pull out the ingredients I have found most helpful in the last year, and I did it.  I made the fluffy paleo pancake that doesn't involve a million eggs, cheese, or coconut flour.  (Don't get me wrong, I love coconut flour...for some things.  But its texture and flavor often overtakes and puts me off.)

Are they low carb?  ...kind of?

Each serving of 3-ish pancakes has 21g net carbs.  I mean, we all know that's mostly the banana.  But it's worth it to me.  'Cause bananas are delicious.

Also, as with all things MyFitnessPal, I take some of these "facts" with a grain of salt.  It did, in the beginning, tell me that 2 bananas had over 2000 calories.

The recipe is as follows:

Dry:

1/2 cup almond meal

1/4 cup arrowroot starch (or your starch of choice--you could also use tapioca to keep it paleo)

2 T ground flax meal

1 t psyllium husk powder

1 scoop unflavored whey protein (could also use vanilla)

1/2 t baking soda

1 t baking powder

Pinch of salt and cinnamon

Wet:

2 medium overripe bananas

2 egg whites

2 eggs

Optional: sweetener to your taste

Combine all dry ingredients in a food processor and pulse until combined.

Add bananas and pulse until mixed in, then add eggs.  Allow to sit for 5-10 minutes, to allow the psyllium powder and flax to "gel".

Ladle onto a medium-hot griddle and cook until bubbles are popping in the center of the pancakes.  Flip and cook for one minute more.

Makes about 8 "normal" sized pancakes.

Serve immediately with your choice of toppings!  Maybe a little bacon on the side, too...

O hai.

Well.

Ahem.

Is there an echo in here?


What a year it's been.


To get you all updated quickly, I've been working a full-time job, struggling a lot with emotions and injury, and trying to constantly "get back on top of things" for, yes, about a year now.

I spent nearly a year with some form of foot injury, which is very hard to manage when you work on your feet most of the day.  I'm 95% sure it was plantar fasciitis, which is probably the most annoying form of injury I have ever had.  I could not run, for a good few months I could not walk right, and I now have to retrain my feet while running so that I don't destroy my form by coddling my now-healed foot.  I'm back to it, though, and that's what matters!

The universe decided to grant us some happiness in February; Charles has finally immigrated (!!!), and we're on the search for a house in the area so we can get out of my parents' basement.  It's a large basement, but...yeah, you know, it's still your parents' basement.

All in all, things are going very well right now.

And summer is on its way!  Very soon,^{oh god where is my life going????}




I have decided to resurrect my blog as I have been tinkering with baking recipes for ages and recording my recipes on small scraps of food-stained paper that are, well, easily lost.  And I don't want to lose them when they are successes.

So, hopefully I have some readership eventually, but otherwise, this is just my personal digital recipe box.


See you all soon!  Hello again!

Saffron, Poppyseed, Lemon, and Orange Birthday Cake (and depressing blog post)

I need an outlet right now.  Keeping a blog has been, obviously, impossible for me since working.  I got a sort-of-promotion with a lot more responsibility and just haven't had the time/thought process in order to document and write about my food adventures.  I do still cook, though!  Just not as much as I used to.

In other news, something I just need to put out there:

I turn 27 in two days.

This is probably the most depressed I have ever been before a birthday.

It's not the number of my age.  Not at all.  I couldn't really care less how many years have passed in my life (well, maybe a little, but I'm not one of *those women* who feel the need to lie about their age or whatever).

It's the fact that for the first time...I don't want to make plans.  I just don't feel like it.

I hate it.

I never wanted to be one of those adults who gives up on their birthday.  I am someone who, when there is a reason to celebrate, I want to celebrate!

That's not happening this year.

Immigration is a miserable process when you're apart from your spouse.  For the last 6 months, I have regretted nearly every day moving back here before starting my husband's immigration work.  I miss him and our home and our family up there so much that some days I cannot stand it.  And it's my own fault for wanting to leave so badly.  We thought it would be faster if we were separated (that's how it is in Canada!), but it just drags on, and snags pop up everywhere.  We have reached the point where asshole border patrol agents are flagging my husband's passport because he "visits too much" and "shows a pattern" (No shit.  We're married.  We want to see each other.), so now his trips to visit are even more limited...and I work retail, so getting time off to go to Montreal is not very easy.

Old demons are popping up.  I don't want to get out of bed.  I don't want to *do* anything.  I go to work and get through the day, and get through my responsibilities, but all I think about is two things: food and sleep.  Sometimes I just sit down and start crying for no reason (well, there's a reason, it's just not always apparent).  Sometimes I get unreasonably annoyed and angry.  I have isolated myself from, essentially, everyone.  I don't want to be around other people very much.  I don't want to go out with friends.  When I do make plans, I will find a way out of them simply because the thought of putting in effort to be pleasant in that moment is just...bleh.

Depression is nothing new for me--I have struggled with it for most of my post-pubescent life.  It has just been quite a while since it's reared its ugly head, and I know how miserable I am to be around/with when I feel this way.  I am incredibly insecure, grumpy, cynical, easily set off, mostly very quiet and withdrawn, and I don't enjoy much of anything.  I have to cut off myself from drinking because otherwise I end up in very dark places and just cry all night--and I have zero self control when I am down.  One beer becomes four becomes a bottle of wine and some vodka very quickly.

So, I'm doing my best right now.  This is a time where I probably really NEED a birthday party, but I simply do not have the energy to put one together.  I fear that I would get everyone together and simply start crying because the person I REALLY want to be present, my husband, can't be here (ah, tears, there you are again).  So no party this year.

This morning I woke up, had my breakfast, and have forced myself to make my birthday cake.  This is something I have enjoyed doing for years--a challenge!  Something different!  Something new!  Devising my own cakes and recipes.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't (omg, last year's cake was disaster city).
I ALMOST made opera cake, but decided I didn't want to cry once more over three buttercream creations that somehow never work out (buttercream is my culinary arch-enemy).

I also wanted to make something semi-healthy, and by healthy, I mean not totally health-conscious-diet-destructive.  I have gained considerable (for me) weight over the last 6 months (since the depression popped up) and I'm trying to lose it steadily.  I know, I know, I look fine, but I'm just not happy with how my clothes fit or how I feel lately.  I appreciate your compliments, but I dislike being unable to wear half of my wardrobe.

So I settled on devising a lower carb, kind-of-paleo cake recipe by merging a few (here and here and here) I had previously made.  But it's also my birthday, so some "bad stuff" is okay.

Hopefully it tastes as good as it smells.

Cake:

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or substitute (coconut oil, whatev)
1/2 cup coconut palm sugar
1/2 cup Splenda
2 cups almond meal
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup arrowroot starch
1 t. baking soda
Pinch sea salt
7 eggs, separated
Pinch of cream of tartar
2 small navel oranges (or one large)
1 large lemon
Pinch of saffron in 1 T. boiling water

In a medium saucepan, cover lemon and oranges in water and bring to a boil.  Lower heat and cook for 2 hours, until a fork goes right through the rind.  Drain, and once cool enough to handle, cut in half along the "equator" and remove seeds.  Puree separately in a food processor.

Preheat the oven to 350degreesF.  Grease and flour two 8-inch round cake pans, and line with parchment paper.

Cream the butter and sugar(s) together in a large bowl until well incorporated.  Add in the egg yolks and mix.

Sift together the dry ingredients and add to egg/butter mixture, mixing on medium-high until fully blended.  Add in the saffron/water mixture as well, and the poppy seeds.  Your batter will be quite thick--think cookie dough.  Divide evenly between two medium-sized bowls.

Whip the egg whites on high speed, with cream of tartar, until stiff peaks form.

In one bowl, add the pureed oranges and mix.  In the other, add the lemon.

Fold equal amounts of egg whites into each mixture, and pour each into its prepared pan.

Bake for 45-55 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting:

2 sticks (1 cup) butter, room temp.
3/4 cup soft goat cheese (chevre), room temp.
3/4 cup cream cheese, room temp.
2 cups powdered sugar
1 vanilla bean, scraped out

Whip together butter and cheeses until fluffy.  Add in sugar a little at a time (I don't really know how much I added--I don't like super-sweet icing, and added until it tasted right and had a nice consistency for me).  Lastly, add in the vanilla bean and whip until desired consistency is reached.

I'm sure you could use partial sugar substitute in this recipe, but I...just didn't feel like messing up frosting.

When it's assembled, I'll add pictures.  Cakes are still cooling!

Chock-Full-o-Veggies Chili

I hope everyone had a glorious holiday season as I did this year!  Food, family, friends (though I could have used more friend-time), gifts, singing, and all that good stuff--and it's not quite over yet!  I had my share of cookies, cake, pie, rich foods, peppermint mochas, and chocolate--so much chocolate!  Tell me of your holidays, I wish to hear!

Sometimes, you just need a ton of veggies after the holidays.  Like me, you're craving them after the ridiculously rich food and decadent sweets of Christmastime (I'm not kidding, I out-sweeted my sweet tooth this year).  That's where chili comes in--still hearty, filling, and delicious, but incredibly healthy and filled with good stuff!  And you can use up some of that leftover turkey!

UPDATE:  Just a note.  This recipe got rave (RAVE) reviews from my husband, who said that from now on, this is the only chili I will be making.  Just a bonus that it's so dang healthy!

Ingredients:

2 T. olive oil
1 large red onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
3 stalks of celery, diced
3 bell peppers (of varying colors), seeded and diced
2 zucchini, diced
1 small butternut squash (or any variety, really), peeled, seeded, and diced
3 15 oz. cans of beans, varieties of your choice, drained and rinsed (I used cannellini and kidney)
2 cups leftover turkey, diced or shredded
1 pound ground chicken or turkey, or more leftover turkey
1 28 oz. can whole peeled tomatoes
2-3 cups chicken/turkey broth
2-3 T. chili seasoning (we used Penzey's CHILI 9000)
For extra spice: ancho or chipotle chili powder
1 6 oz. can tomato paste
Salt & pepper to taste

Instructions:

Heat olive oil in a LARGE stock pot over medium heat.  Add onion, celery, garlic, and peppers and sautee until tender and onion is translucent.  Add in the raw ground meat, if you're using it, breaking it apart with the spoon.  Cook until browned a bit.  Add in the zucchini and butternut squash, and cook until a little tender (about 5 minutes--it doesn't quite need to be cooked through).  Toss in your seasonings at this point, and cook for 2-3 minutes.

Add in the beans, tomatoes, tomato paste, broth, and leftover turkey--bring to a simmer, turn heat to low or medium low, and allow to cook for at least 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Allow to cook until it reaches the consistency you like (we like our chili thick), and correct any seasonings.

Serve hot and top with your favorite chili toppings!

This could easily be thrown into a slow-cooker (though I recommend browning the onions and meat first for flavor) and cooked on low for 8 hours.

Butternut Squash Spinach Lasagna

Allow me to say that I threw this together on a whim.  And my (early) New Year's resolution is to get this blog back up and running again.

So while I sip mulled wine and watch ABC Family's Harry Potter marathon (that will happen every weekend during the winter season, if I recall), I'll type up a recipe I kind of made up on a whim, with minor (read: very little) help from other recipes.

Ingredients:

One very large butternut squash, or two small ones, peeled and seeded, sliced into 1/4 inch slices
6 cups baby spinach, washed
1/4 cup butter (1/2 stick)
1/3-1/2 cup gluten free all-purpose flour
3 cups milk (I used goat's milk, it was divine), warmed
2 cups shredded sharp cheese (I used Carr Valley Chipotle Cranberry Cheddar)
Pinch of nutmeg
2 cups shredded Gruyere cheese
2 T. ground sage
Salt and pepper to taste
1 box gluten-free lasagna noodles (I used them raw, but if you're not going to let it sit overnight, precook them.)

Olive oil, as needed

Instructions:

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit, and line a baking sheet with aluminum foil.

Toss your butternut squash slices in olive oil and roast for 30 minutes, until lightly browned and tender.  Remove and cool.

In a large pot over medium heat, melt butter and allow to heat until foaming.  Add in the flour and whisk until blended.  Allow to cook until foaming, 2-5 minutes (depending on your stove).  Pour in the milk in a steady stream, whisking the entire time.  Bring the mixture to a boil, and reduce heat, whisking often, until the mixture thickens.  Remove from heat and add in the cheddar cheese and nutmeg.  Salt and pepper to taste.

Oil a lasagna pan (I used an 8x8 ceramic one) and place 4 lasagna noodles along the bottom.  Top with 1/3 of the butternut squash.  Season with 1/3 of the sage, salt, and pepper. Top with 1/3 of the mornay sauce.  Spread half of the spinach over this, then top with 1/3 of the gruyere cheese.  Repeat layers.  Top with another set of lasagna noodles, remaining squash, mornay, gruyere, and spices.  For extra oomph, line the top with fresh sage leaves.  Cover.

At this point, I let mine sit in the fridge overnight, allowed the noodles to soak up some liquid and thus not needing to precook them.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.  Bake the lasagna, covered, for 30 minutes.  Remove the foil and bake for 30 more minutes, until browning on top and bubbling along the sides.  Raise temperature to 400 if it's not browning enough for you.

Allow to cool for 15-20 minutes and serve!  Next time, I think I'll add in either some cremini or shiitake mushrooms for a bit of "meatiness", but it was delicious as is!

On Weight and Work-Outs

So we're gonna do a "real" blog post for once.

I get a lot of comments these days.  Whether it's from people I know, people I don't, people I am vaguely acquainted with--they all make little comments every now and again about my weight/size/"skinniness".

If you had told me 10, heck, 5 years ago that I would be called "skinny" by a large amount of people, I would have laughed in your face (I also would have laughed in your face if you told me I'd be running 4+ miles 5 days a week, but that ties in).

I don't mind the comments, really, until they come with an undertone of "Ugh, you're on of those people."  Which is, to say, one of the people who eats whatever they want, does nothing for exercise, and simply IS skinny.

Which is 100% false and not true and I won't lie to you;  I got where I am through a lot of trial and error, hard work, and dedication.

Or, there are the (very rude) people who mime vomiting actions at me, suggesting that I have an eating disorder.  Well, I used to, so there's that.  It took a lot of self-help and willpower to get past THAT stage of my life, so kindly go @#$% yourself if you think it's funny to tell me that I MUST be throwing up/vastly restricting my food to look "healthy".  Not to mention how horrible it is to joke about that.

I cannot sit around eating bon-bons all day, stop exercising, and stay where I am weight-wise.  I never could.  And it would be very wrong of me to not admit that I have had my fair share of massive body-image issues because of this--that got me to where I am, and where I WON'T go.

I decided years ago that I would rather look the way I want and feel the way that feels best than, say, have that piece of cake or fried food.  As I said, much trial and error has gone into this.  I can, essentially, eat mostly what I want when I'm exercising on the regular.  But "what I want" tends to consist of mostly healthy foods (mostly fruit and vegetables, actually) with a modest dessert thrown in a few days a week.  I'm a self-described "flexetarian" (meaning I'll eat vegetarian most of the time, but I have nothing against eating meat), eat low-carb compared to most Americans (I guess slow-carb is a better term--I avoid the major starches/grains), and I generally watch my calories.  Generally.  Calorie counting gets dangerous, kids, so don't get obsessed.  If I gain a few pounds?  I cut back on sweets.  I actively watch how my clothes fit.  It's pretty easy.

I work out 4-5 days a week.  I listen to my body.  If it hurts in that not-related-to-a-good-workout way, I take a break.  If I'm exhausted all the time for no reason, I take a break.  In fact, every few months, I take a week off of everything and "recharge".  Working out is my me-time, it gives me a chunk of time to simply think by myself, and I feel great afterward.  I don't torment myself.  I rarely ever really PUSH myself hard.  I just go run.  I used to HATE it, but now I really enjoy doing it, as hard it is to believe that.

So, really...I started this blog post a while ago, intending to post, and worried that it would come off as vain or braggy or...I don't know, unnecessary.  But I get tired of people thinking that I simply get away with my health.  I don't.  I work hard.  I come from a long line of diabeetus (yes, I spelled it that way on purpose), heart disease/problems, obesity, etc.  I do not want my life to involve any of those things, so I do my best to counteract it.  I also enjoy being proud of how I look in a swimsuit and my clothes.  I don't cry anymore when I go shopping, which happened all the time as a teen.  I am happy with myself.  I simply want to up-keep this happiness!  When you get to where you want to be, you have to maintain, you can't simply quit!

So when I turn down that cookie, that cake, that extra helping, it's not because I don't like your food (or because it has gluten in it, 'cause I can't eat it!), but because, thank you, I am full, I've had enough carbs today, or I just don't feel like eating it.  And that should be fine.  Don't shame me for watching my weight/health.  In my humble opinion, more people would be better off doing it.

End scene.

"Detox" Salad

So sometimes I get a little overindulge-y on the sweets and carbs and good things in life (funnily enough, in the summer, there's WAY more dessert present in my house than any other time of year--thank you, fresh fruit!), and I just feel like eating a giant pile of vegetables for a meal.

I don't buy into the whole "detox" movement (or "cleanses" or "raw" or any of that, really), but it just feels...GOOD sometimes to eat a full-on healthy salad of not much more than shredded veggies, dried/fresh fruit, nuts, and very little dressing.

Maybe that's just me and I'm weird like that, but whatev!  I do what I want!

Your best friend, in this situation, is a food processor with a shredder attachment.  If you don't have that, this'll take a lot longer (and more effort) to make.

Inspired by this recipe, with a few additions/changes for my own tastes.

Ingredients:

1-2 bunches of broccoli, washed and stems cleaned up
3-4 small red beets
2 medium carrots
1/2 bunch of kale (curly or dinosaur, your choice), finely chopped
1/2 cup nuts, roughly chopped (I used cashew pieces and almonds)
1/2 cup unsweetened raisins
1/4 cup kelp powder
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
Juice of 1 lemon
2 T.-1/4 cup honey or maple syrup
2 T. olive oil
Salt & pepper, to taste
Optional: handful of fresh berries on top :)

Instructions:

Using a food processor, finely shred broccoli (stems and all!), carrots, and beets.    Toss together in a large bowl.

Add in the kale, nuts, and raisins.

In a small bowl, mix together the kelp powder, vinegar, lemon juice, honey, and oil.  Taste and season/add more honey.

Toss everything together!

Enjoy!